I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
