Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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