we have officially lost it.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
