whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
