her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
