North Korea, Best Korea!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
