Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
