A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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