literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
