Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
tell your sister to shave her snatch
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
