He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
