Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
