How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
