you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
