I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My pussy is not your playground.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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