i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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