Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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