Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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