You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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