do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
