i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
