Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i think my cat just said my name.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
