You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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