lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
