I can tuck mytits in my pants
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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