you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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