Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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