he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
