shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
