just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
