oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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