He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
