i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
