she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
