I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
