...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
