rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
