Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize