Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
