it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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