now i know why i became what i already was.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
