Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
