Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
