just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
