what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
