im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
