Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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