I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
