so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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