omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
