I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
