I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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